My first prayer

What form shall my first prayer take?

Shall I endlessly write God’s nama

Or do a silent mala japa

 Of Ram or Ramana or Arunachala Shiva?

Paint pictures of delightful Ganesha,

Weave Tulsi garlands for Hanuman or

Roam around the corridors of unpopulated temples?

Shall I sit by the temple tanks feeding fish

Or floating with its water lilies, or

Spend hours in divine contemplation?

Shall I soak my soul with blissful bhajans

And never wake up from the following meditation,

What shall I do, which course shall I take?

 The indifferent gaze from the Guru’s portrait

Swiftly brushes aside these inspired ideas.

At long last, I lift a brush, it turns into a needle

That sews abstract patches of my innate desires

Into a collage of undecipherable mess that portrays ‘me’.

Opening a notebook I bluntly etch my greed

Into words of prayer forever asking, demanding or begging.

Walking along the sacred temple corridor,

Upon its art laden walls I find myself

Pasting my own incompatible interpretation.

Gazing into the azure skies, I discern

 My greed bred desires lazily floating as clouds

Hide the perfect dispensation of Supreme Laws.

I string into the holy garland my craving for credit,

Feed hungry fish my yearning for miraculous bounty.

This was my prayer mode and worship till yesterday.

Fie!

Fie on my sense of worship and prayer!

Such adoration shames my very bones now.

Forgive this ignorant usurper who hides daylight in a mud pot

And tries to borrow a glow-worm’s light to warm itself!

Oh Self – Oh patient Lord of my existence!

Let me see myself in your true Light,

Let me acknowledge my misgivings for you,

Let me see my ego’s worthlessness.

Help me light a lamp to scorch my impudence,

Or Light incense to burn out my impertinent desires,

Let me weave into a flower garland

Apologies for indignant demands, and

Let me sacrifice a meal to weaken my greed.

Accept my waving a sacred light at dawn and dusk

To outline the threshold of alert awareness

Before bowing to the concept of Divinity.

Let me surrender to the eternal laws of season.

Let me dedicate myself to an inspired solitary silence

With delight of this moment graciously offered to me.

Let me attempt to resurrect my lost heritage within

Through a silent prostration to the Omniscient,

 To the Divine Witness within me,

The unrivalled and Eternal Being -

The ‘I AM’ which I am.

MEDITATING ON LIGHT

MEDITATING ON LIGHT

My being is now a God-lover’s

It is touched with Light.

Magnificent suns gleam within

Their golden rays drench me.

To meditate I sit down.

I shut my eyes and close it

From objects that I hold

With pride or burden of possession.

I question my belief of possession

Of this given name and form I call me.

I begin to seek my source step by step within

With the only assured truth I always possessed-

The certain knowledge that I existed.

Ambling through a marsh of thoughts

Firmly implanting each step forward

Avoiding the quagmire of involvement in thoughts.

Then steering away from blankets of sleep

Which threaten to engulf me in its dark comfort,

I find myself perched on a verge

Of losing all that is assured and known.

The fear of insecurity and the unknown

Disguises truths that I always ignored.

But now I choicelessly stare to make out an outline

Of something I should hope to find.

A name, a word or a holy thought I hold

And dangle precariously in adventurous glee.

Rama, ramana, om, shree mata, arunachala shiva.

Stillness arrives like a welcome visitor

Chancing upon my awaiting pasture

And I naturally welcome it as one most familiar.

It transforms me completely within and without

With a touch that thrills through and through.

What is this?

I still am when I feared I lost myself?

And what is this again?

I feel enveloped by a light never seen before!

This light has no external source

And has no glare or heat

But a comfort that is new in this light.

I see it increasing from a dot to a star

From star to a sun and from that burst

Into a nebula radiating a dazzling spectrum of light

Glimmering and dancing like sunrise upon fresh waters.

Now impulsively I plunge headlong into this light divine

Remaining immersed for a spell of Timeless time!

I wake from this refreshed as one bathed in light.

My daily dips become frequent and become hourly

Then they go in by the minute, then pray,

Why should I ever arise from the light?

I remain awake, aware and alert

Seeing the world through it

As one sees a pale reflection of objects,

Yes, objects like in a mirage or dream

Denied of the awareness of their own light

Until they thirst for it enough to discard

Their heavy shrouds of desire and fear

And plunge headlong to merge with this Light.

My being is now fully a God-lover’s

One that is touched with the Light Divine.

Magnificent suns gleam within

Their golden rays drench me.

Always.

How to meditate?

When ill health, fear,anger or frustration takes control over you…

Meditation brings you home to where your Spiritual Heart is.

 

From irregular heart beats, to chest pain or discomfort, to anxiety, insomnia and high blood pressure, all of which are clear indicators of your deviation from ideal ‘living’, each and every problem submits to attention from the higher zone. As you need to put mind over matter, you also need to put your spiritual Heart over your mind.

By transcending the heavy traffic area of the mind you simply access the unlimited freedom of space outside the congestion.

What sounds so ‘simple’ is really so if you just give it a chance. To state the procedure all you need to do is twenty minutes, twice a day to begin with if you are a cautious adventurer. Wherever you are and whatever be the circumstances provided it can allow you some space and time, take a twenty minute break from whatever you are doing. It will not break you to interrupt your routine of work or whatever; it will only make you whole and your life wholesome ultimately.

Ill health brings in the advantage of focusing on the most crucial things in life. So, at that juncture one does not need a reason or a suitable station in life to study LIFE or LIVING. Each one is already on a precarious perch, so living in its rarity shines fully as the present moment every moment.

This present moment and your awareness of your precarious perch in presence most probably triggered by a fear of death or suffering bring you right into the centre of life, of the eternal living moment, the ubiquitous ‘Now’. 

And there is never a better moment to start meditation whether or not you have attempted it before. Make this practice your path to reach ‘presence’ - your eternal address.

You must admit that it would not be difficult to take up a space for twenty minutes at short notice. You do it involuntarily at a store, library, while browsing, meeting friends, at the eateries and so on. To take up mentally an idea of spirituality as the essence of life should be no news either as you would not be reading this otherwise.  Set an alarm or some way to know your twenty minute spell. Sit comfortably. Breathe in, breathe out. Relax your shoulders. Set calmness on your face. Shut your eyes. You are ready for your meditation.

Now pay attention to your breathing, just pay attention. Observe it. It will take you toward the threshold of your Home. Now consciously take up repetition of a seed sound – a bijakshara. It means a root sound or a source of expression of an order. If initiated already you may know yours or else ‘Om’ has no equivalent.  Repeat it, watch it, watch what it communicates to you, even the fact that it conveys nothing if it does not. An easy, relaxed and friendly attitude towards this will be a good starting point to pin your centre of awareness upon. Soon you will be soaring or losing yourself to winds or tides of thoughts, memories, fantasies or fears. Your seed sound will be the pivot around which you may ground yourself.

Minutes later you are still at the window of your house. You are still looking out because of your involvement, familiarity and investment in your worldly affairs. Let it be.  As you look out just do one thing deliberately. Put on the attitude of one who listlessly watches out of a window having nothing better to do. Simply observe those things, events or ideas that occur before you choicelessly and with no notion of changing or judging or trying to remember it for later use.

If now and then a butterfly – read here as a pleasant experience -alights on your windowsill watch it as an event registered and not as if a guest has arrived. If a flying bird- read here as a fleeting thought – catches your attention follow it only up to the extent of your sight limited by your window frame, here mind. Don’t follow it into its freedom of space. Stay pivoted. If a crawling insect – read here as a fear or unpleasant feeling – tickles your interest, curiosity or irritability, observe it as an intrusion designed to dissuade you from your attempt at meditating.

If you are seized by a fear of worsening health or a threatening life situation seize your pivot consciously assuring yourself that this is exactly why you are doing what you are now. As you watch it squarely it will submit to your gaze and cower away, it Will. Trust your effort, breathe in and out consciously once more.

Soon you will begin to turn your attention inwards, your interiors are more spacious indeed. You will find the uncluttered atmosphere of your Home very soothing and reassuring than even the most powerful words of consolation or encouragement. Stay here as long as you have programmed or willed yourself to.

If you are woken by an alarm or a wake up call after twenty minutes it is the first sign of success. Don’t be ashamed to sleep while meditating at first. It is a clear sign of relaxation, the much needed rest for you system.

Your so called familiar surroundings would appear in a slightly new light if meditation has done its hat-trick upon you. Otherwise know that it will befriend you slowly. Keep taking these inward tours. Try to enjoy it like taking a walk, playing a game, listening to music or doing art – whatever is most appealing to you. Keep up at it at least for a week before you assess its benefits.

Very, very soon your inner world will expand and your comfort centre – your Home around which all else exists in circumferential expansions will be your most favoured spot of residence. Your ill health would be history by now, and if yet you carry a medical history it will be for a factual assessment of health minus your identification with it.

A day will come when you realize you never left your Home ever, and that your spiritual Heart was your only address and if body, mind and world have no substantial reality there how can disease, fear, confusion, commotion and other emotions have validity?

If a butterfly hops onto your windowsill flower it winks at you knowingly. It always knew you were free. It flits by and its colours get printed on your eyes as a seal of friendship. You will be one with the world.

When identification with the limited ceases you become Consciousness, the eternal unlimited space which is constantly experienced as the ‘I am’ness within apparent creation. You arrive at the realization that Home is where the Spiritual Heart is, in the ‘I’ ‘Here’ and ‘Now’ forever.

Kundalini - The fruit of the awareness of tranquility

Dear Wanderer,

You would have often come across the term Kundalini in your searches or reading or listening on the  understanding of Spiritual sciences or studies. You may presume it as an abnormal state defying explanation or as a set of mysterious states of Consciousness, perhaps even fanciful, associated with yogis, rishis or spiritual experts so to say. Presented here for your clarification is a set of  Questions and Answers to define certain parameters within which the search for its true meaning would be reasonable.

What is Kundalini Yoga?

Kundalini Yoga is not anything which you can make awake by any technique ... it is only the result of collective energy due to tranquility... which comes though self awakening and in a 'no mind' condition... Actually Kundalini Yoga is an illusive term because it is the gift which you get by product of your pious living and no mind state not by any trick... and it is a gradual process...which can take even a number of years .

Yet,Kundalini yoga is also known as a form of physical and meditative yoga that comprises of various techniques using the mind, body and our senses.

What is Kundalini?

The Kundalini is untapped spiritual energy at the base of the spine that can be drawn up through the body awakening each of the seven chakras of the body. Full enlightenment occurs when this energy reaches the Crown Chakra (topmost). Kundalini is one of the more spiritual types of yoga.

Why does it seem associated with the serpentine form in Indian texts and description?

It is a symbolic interpretation to reveal its multilayered significance easily to the students of Yoga. The Kundalini energy is often represented as a snake coiled at the base of the spine. The Kundalini  yoga gives special consideration to the role of the spine and the endocrine system – both essential parts for yogic awakening.

It goes beyond the physical performance of asanas with its emphasis on breathing, meditation, mudras and chanting. However, it can be very physically intense and appeals to those who are up for both mental and physical challenges.

Why does one pursue this Yoga? What are its benefits?

Kundalini yoga helps to enrich your sense of well-being and confidence that comes from the process of self-discovery of your inner self and reaching a relaxed state of mind and body.

Here are some of the benefits one can derive from Kundalini yoga:

- Kundalini yoga helps in the better functioning of the digestive, glandular, cardiovascular, lymphatic and nervous system.

- It has a direct bearing with the glandular system and hence can enhance the ability to look and feel great.

- It heightens the senses. So, your ability to taste, smell, feel and see with sensitivity are increased.

- It helps eliminate and get rid of habits such as smoking and alcohol addiction.

- It also helps overcome negative feelings and encourages positive attitude and feelings.

- You can experience better sense of self-control and, overcome anger and resentment to find inner calm and mental peace.

- It strengthens the immune system too and helps you fight off several diseases and keep them at bay.

In short it restores you to your natural state of existence which is at its best.

Are there any risks involved in the practice of Kundalini Yoga?

There are as many risks as in the learning of any specialised skill which requires your total dedication and constant attention and perseverance. Analyse the following statement once again with attention and realise that it is self-realization that can bring about this awareness and awakening and ensure the safe co-existence of it along with the biological entity (if it truly exists as an entity after that point!)

Kundalini Yoga is not anything which you can make awake by any technique ... it is only the result of collective energy due to tranquility... which comes though self awakening and in a 'no mind' condition... Actually Kundalini Yoga is an illusive term because it is the gift which you get by product of your pious living and no mind state  and not by any trick... and it is a gradual process...which can take even a number of years .

What is the purpose of this article if Kundalini cannot be brought about by any trick or simple technique?

The purpose of this piece is to introduce the reader to the term Kundalini in terms that leave no myths attached to it as a kind of strange and peculiar fancy, dark ritual or tantric process with primitive tendencies and so on. It is a holy term as natural as existence itself. It can be termed Benediction or Grace or the Gift of the the Divine. It signifies 'Satchitananda'  - Existence - Consciousness - Bliss.

To know the true meaning is to experience it and to experience one has to clear the mind of all that is known. It opens up the path to a search for the true Home, the home where the Spiritual HEART is.

Tell me how, why and what for!

Dear potential Home seeker,

Would like to share with you and keep on record for your use these random queries of one who is not opposed to being a home seeker.

These questions and replies are an assorted set from the book titled Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi.

(They represent some of the generally posed questions by every mind that resists the idea of change but is willing to take a look at the options available once the need to change is grasped, even if superficially, or if stagnation within is recognized.)

When asked, ‘What is the purpose of creation?’ His reply comes ‘It is to give rise to this question; investigate the answer to this question, and finally abide in the supreme or rather the primal source of all, including the Self. The investigation will resolve itself into the quest for the Self and cease only after the non-self is sifted away and the Self is realized in its purity and glory.

1. What should I do with myself?

                Seek your ‘Self’ and identify with it.

2. What is the way to proceed from here?

 Question from where does the illusion of being an individual arise. Question its beginning, its very origin, if it has any.      

3. You told me to look in, now you say when you look out look from within, why and how should I do it?

The world is in you. You are not in the world. When you look out know what you see is a figment of your imagination. It is ethereal like a dream.

4. If the self is realized will there be normal life or not?

                Whose normal life are you asking about? For the man on the stair who was not there? Intense longing to be relieved from the burdensome individuality will not pose this question.

5. My one question remains unanswered even after reading or knowing much, i.e., why is there still thoughts or mental activity going on within me in spite of having had experiences of my being the spirit, the ungraspable being through the experience of Samadhi?

                Without such earnestness to seek your source as a gateway to freedom and as long as there remains a trace of desire and fear, the individuality continues to safeguard its stake due to its inability to meet the high expectations of the teacher or faith.

6. I still don’t understand.

                Sincere efforts to understand will be rewarded.

7. Is jnana the same as arudha, saktipata etc?

                Yes, it is so.

8. Is there any difference between Bhakti and jnana?

                There is none.  Jnana is the eternal, unbroken state full of love for the Self as the Self. It implies Bhakti and here the God is seen to be the Self.

9. Will work continue or not?

                Again whose? The individual’s? Did you not wish the man on the stair that was not there to go away?

10. Why can’t we speak to Iswara in the same way as we speak to each other?

                It requires purity and strength of mind and practice. Such manifestations are as real as your own reality. The objects seen bear a relation to the state of the seer (refer to your three natural states of waking, dream and sleep). The same applies to the vision of God. (Story of Namdev – Jnandev,Gora Kumbhar, and the great Gorakhnath)

11. What is Self surrender (Saranaagati)?(Pg 384, Talks)

                The ego submits only when it recognizes a Higher Power, the true nature of the ‘Self’. Such recognition is surrender, submission or self control.

12. How can the mind be brought under control?

                By seeking its source so that it may disappear or surrender, that it may be struck down.

13. It slips from my control!

                Bring it back and turn it inward. That is enough. Put in effort and persevere.

14. Alternately, can I merely resign to the guiding power and do nothing else?

                That is the best thing to do. The train takes you and your luggage whether you carry it or put it down. Do not pose as doer ever.

15. Can the teacher substantially transfer spirituality to the student or not ( Like Swami Vivekananda and others received from  Sri Ramakrishna or their masters)?

                Here transfer means eradicating the seeming individuality of the student. There is no substance to be transferred. The student was not once something then made into another but his imagination of individuality is quashed. (Like the ‘Man upon the stair’)

16. A Sadguru is necessary to guide me to understand it. I want a visible guru.

The Sadguru is within. The visible guru says that He is within.     

17. What is diksha or initiation?

                The books speak of various dikshas – Sparsha, Hastha and Nayana, and of rites containing fire, water and mantra etc.

                If the individual is sought he is nowhere to be found. When the Lord Dakshinamurthi sat silently the doubts of the seekers who sought him were dispelled which means they lost their individual identities and had the experience of oneness or unity. This is what we term Jnana.( Ironically, Maya offered us the faculty of speech through Sound, Word and Tongue to express what can be done through silence.)

18. But when will this understanding come about. I have spent years toiling and longing for it?

                The question of Time is a whole subject in itself to be dealt with. To answer the question – the work proceeding within is not apparent.  Remain silent both by mind and speech. Silence is the most potent form of work.

19. Does the guru in body merit as much as the Guru of spirit like say Dakshinamurti?

                When you identify yourself with your body this kind of question arises. The seeker is to realize that he is not an individual within an exclusive body.

20. Do you mean to say that both dream and waking creations are illusory?         

                Yes, the difference is only apparent and not real from the standpoint of the Absolute.

21. Is God with form or without? Which is better – idol worship or formless worship?

                There is no use discussing the form or formlessness of God without understanding whether you yourself have a form or not. Seek that first, the second part will be answered automatically.

                Every attribute even that of formlessness is a notion i.e. saguna.  If you so prefer the attributeless first find out your true nature.

God and the gardener

 Dear Gardener,

I would like to share this story with you. I found it. It gives one an indication of the significance of Sadhana - persistent insistence on perfection.

Purusha’s ABHYASA
( SADHANA AND SAMADHI )

You can realise your true nature.

 How can I make myself strong?

-There are just two ways to do that, said the angel. The first way is called abhyasa, and the second way is called vairagya. So you should practice them both to get rid of the vrittis.
-Abhyasa is the way of repeated practice, said the angel. The practice could be karma yoga or bhakti yoga or any other type of sadhana, depending on which practice suits you best. Repeated practice is necessary to destroy the vrittis.
I am going to tell you a story about abhyasa. It happened once that God gave a gardener a small seed, called sadhana, which he was to plant and take care of until it would bear flowers. The gardener took the seed home, selected an auspicious spot in the garden and planted it very carefully, because God had told him that it was necessary for the seed to be firmly grounded. Then he waited, but nothing seemed to happen to the seed. He waited two days, three days, four days, but nothing happened. So, on the fifth day he dug the seed up to see if something was wrong with it. But no, it looked perfect. So he put the seed back in the soil again and waited for two days more. Nothing happened, so he dug the seed up again to look at it. Nothing seemed to be wrong with it, so he put the seed back again. This went on for a few weeks; every second or every third day, he dug up the seed to see if it looked all right. But it never seemed to take root.
After three months he couldn't stand it any longer, so he went to God and explained that something must be wrong with the seed, as it didn't root properly.
-It is impossible for it to grow as long as you dig it up two or three times a week, said God, you must let it grow without interruption. You must be patient enough to give it the time it needs to grow. It may take a long, long time- just be patient, it will flower sooner or later.
The gardener thanked him and went back to his seed. He went on watering and taking care of the seed, but without disturbing it. After some time it really did start to grow. At first the gardener was very excited over his little plant, but as time went on his enthusiasm began to fade away. The growth of the plant seemed to be so slow, and sometimes he thought it looked so ugly as if it never would bear any flowers. Could it be that God had cheated him- would his sadhana-plant never bear flowers? Was it maybe just a weed he had been given?
As his love for the plant and his faith in its eventual flowering disappeared, the plant seemed to stop growing completely. So after a while, the gardener went to God again, to ask what was wrong.
-Do you think the plant can grow when you don't believe in it? said God. Do you think it can grow when you don't love it? Do you think it will ever flower if you don't have faith in it? So have faith and love your sadhana.
The gardener thanked him, went home and started taking care of the plant, again believing in the flower to come. And, as the plant felt his faith and love, it started growing again, with an amazing speed.
And one day, it gave birth to the most beautiful flower of samadhi.